Article Dan speed blogs

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Making a drama out of a Twitter

Celebrity's tweets are put into the hands (and dramatic hearts) of a trio of fine thesbians (no thesbian jokes about Lindsay Lohan, now. Don't be cheap.)

If that player doesn't work for you - go to the source http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/video/2009/09/09/VI2009090902439.html?hpid=topnews

Oh, lovely lord. This is the best thing since Peter O'Toole read The Spice Girls Wannabe lyrics on TFI Friday.

Oh, wait... That wasn't so great. How did Chris Evans get away with that shit for so long? Oh, the 90s - so awful in hindsight. At least the 80s had the decency to flat up dreadful to your face...

Keep th' faith.
Article Dan

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Filed under  //   Humour   parody   Twitter   Video  

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Jeff Goldblum mourns the death of Jeff Goldblum

More Twitter skewering: having died on Twitter, Jeff Goldblum used the old medium of television to eulogise his own life:


Again, we can forgive the madness of Twitter, and itchy Twitter fingers (just!), but that News agencies are picking this crap up and just running with it is ridiculous. And you can't really blame the open and fast fact locker that is Wikipedia this time. Wikipedia history of Goldblum's page holds mention of his tragic death but this was removed swiftly and Goldblum's page locked down (much in the same way as Michael Jackson's wikipedia page had to be during the intense hours of reports of his death).

All ire aside, it gave a marvellous opportunity for Jeff Goldblum to have some fun. "Being in bed with Goldblum was 'like being in a flesh storm with a 90% chance of satisfaction'"

That we should all get to write our own eulogies...

Keep th' faith,
Article Dan


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Filed under  //   comedy   Jeff Goldblum   Twitter   Video  

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The Jolly Green Avatar - are you sure you know what you're supporting?

If you're on Twitter and follow anyone with much of a social / political reckoning, chances are you've come across the call for #greenavatar . Chances are you've also picked up on a few Tweets about Iran where there may have been a democratic election. Or there may not. And there's the rub.

Yeah, yeah, Middle East in turmoil - same old, same old; but what about this green avatar malarky, Dan? Wagwan?

Well, the idea is you edit your avatar to become a plain green block (or green hue your exisitng photo with iPhoto) to show your support for... er...

Well, here's my problem. What is this green avatar a symbol of?

The black (blackout) avatar on Twitter made sense. It was a political statement using an apolitical symbol. A person could indicate their protest at the New Zealand government's decision to ban users from the net for suspected file-sharing (without trial), and blackout their avatar. It was a display of digital solidarity - day by day more avatars went black; not all by any stretch, but enough to be noticable and eerie. Something was up. Something wasn't right.

The real win was that black avatar meant one thing and one thing only: a protest at the New Zealand Government's policy. THAT policy, right there, right then. Not the whole NZ government, not their health care policies (afterall, who outside of New Zealand was really across all of these issues?), just that one thing we could agree wasn't right.

A black avatar had no other affiliations. It wouldn't be mistaken for support of another political party, another campaign, (ok maybe the Goths, if they were running for High School Presidency...); but whether you were conservative, liberal, eco-warrior or bible fanatic, you could black out your avatar to make THAT statement of protest and know that that was the only statement you were making. It represented a single (common) intent.

The green avatar has none of that assurance. It's ambiguous at best. Why? Because green is the associated colour of Iran's unelected opposition coalition party in these contested elections. So when you paint your avatar green there are inferrences that can be drawn beyond support for 'democracy', 'liberty', 'freedom of speech'. The green avatar is consciously linking to the Iranian opposition reformist coalition party - and do they really offer any utopian dreams? You probably know that many people are furious that this party hasn't got into power through this election, but what else do you know? Yes it all looks pretty dubious in the re-election of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Julian Coles presents an excellent analysis here), but what do you know?

Just because a political party stands against an oppressive, (you might say) dangerous, insular regime, it doesn't automatically mean that party stands for everything you'd like it to. I hear they're reformist, they're progressive...

It feels like 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend' - is the logic blithely at play here. Coincidence that it's attributed to an old Arabian proverb, but there's an awful lot of assumptions being made in this.
 
President Barack Obama, when being pressed to condemn the election result and the Iranian regime's response to protests (and support the opposition), has stated:
 
"It's important to understand that, although there is amazing ferment taking place in Iran, the difference between Ahmadinejad and Mousavi in terms of their actual policies may not be as great as has been advertised. " source: Daily Telegraph 17 June 09

Let me present an exchange I had on Twitter today: I asked @NickDonnelly (who if it was #followfriday I would recommend you follow) why he had changed his avatar to green.

Nick: @Article_Dan supporting democracy / showing solidarity for iranians... #greenavatar #iranelection

Me: @nickdonnelly But does the 'green' represent anything for you, eg a political group/party? Or is it just a colour?

Nick: @Article_Dan its connected to reformist party whose attitude is one of openness to the world. What i support is proper democracy for Iran.

Me: @nickdonnelly That's my concern. Like you I support democracy for Iran and loath this oppression. But - do I support the Reformist party?

Nick: @Article_Dan Point Taken. If you support democracy id say yes, you do support reformist party, specially if alt is do nothing #greenavatar

My interpretation of this is that it is better to side with the opposition reformist party than not take a side at all and let democracy fall beneath a jackboot in the Middle East. But, like Obama, I wonder about that. Haven't we taken sides before in similar situations and found we've backed an equally bad (or worse) bunch? Didn't the US arm Afganistan rebels against the Russians? Didn't Western governments supply weapons to Saddam Hussein when it suited us? Because they were the enemy of our enemy?

I know these are extreme examples, and hardly the same as adding a tint to an avatar - and I certainly don't equate Nick with US Foreign policies! But it's illustration of how we can get it wrong thinking we're stopping things going wrong; how our interpretation of life doesn't necessarily marry up with the reality of life in a very different culture; how imposition of Western perspectives on the Middle East can lead to distorted conclusions and misguided acts. It's hubris. And hubris never ends well.
 
Please, don't stop showing support / fighting for democracy, for freedom, for human rights. That's not what I'm after here. But can we find a different colour or symbol for it? One that won't leave me feeling queasy about my blustering niaveté in a few years' time...?

Keep th' faith,
Article Dan

NB: Nick Donnelly's comments are represented with his kind permission.
 
PS - The comments system on Posterous is sometimes flakey. If you try to leave a comment and it doesn't let you, please let me know on twitter @article_dan or email articledan@rocketmail.com and I will repost (providing it's not abusive).

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Filed under  //   #greenavatar   Avatar   Democracy   Freedom   Iran elections   Political statements   Twitter  

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Israel taking a leaf out of Barack's blog?

If you've been watching or reading the news lately you'll likely have noticed that Israel has gotten 20th Century on Hamas' ass again.

But what you may have missed is how 21st Century Israel has also gotten on Hamas' ass as well - unleashing a 2.0nslaught on the internet as PR to accompany the action in Gaza. What am I talking about? I'm talking about the Israel Defence Force's You Tube channel which launched on 28 December 2008 with the profile statement:

The IDF Spokesperson's Unit is the Israel Defense Forces' professional body responsible for media and public relations in Israel and around the world. This is our new site that will help us bring our message to world.

This message being a combination of b&w on-plane footage of bombing raids such as:



And paint-dryingly dull images of prep for airstrikes:



What I love about the above video is the pixelation of a guy's face at the 14 second mark. Proof positive that this incursion into the realm of web 2.0 and UGC is being undertaken with a limited knowledge of the tools at hand. Any experienced user knows that you can't tell a face from an arse on YouTube if the subject's more than a foot away and moving.

Also, I'm wondering why that guy gets his face pixelated? Everyone else is happily on display and proud of their work. Clearly the dude's moonlighting. He's got another job and doesn't want the boss to know that he's been pulling sickies to lovingly polish spy-craft and other assorted death-mongering war cocks. OR, worse, he's pulling a Mr Inside-outski Fistful of Dollars routine and working for Hamas at the weekends - a sweet little deal which this film would blow right out of the water.

So, the IDF's on YouTube, I hear you huff and shrug. No biggie. Everyone's on YouTube, Dan. Shut up. Don't you have a 'Best of 2008' blog to better clutter up the net with? (All in good time, my loves...) Well, how's scoop number two rock your shit, web-fans: Israel is also getting a Twitter buzz on. Yes: you can follow David Saranga, Consul of Media and Public Affairs in New York via http://twitter.com/IsraelConsulate and you can take part in a Citizens' press conference on Twitter to get your questions in. Sort of an 'Everything you wanted toknow about the Israel-Palestine crisis but didn't have the 2.0 messenging client to ask' deal. Pretty cool. (Yes, fine - this blog is just another excuse to talk about Twitter. Look - go out and build something better to yack about and I'll get yacking.)

First Barack Obama, then Britney, now the State of Israel - all Twittering. It's like Biz Stone looked upon all the Twitter column inches, the hype, the tech-obsessive-fandom and celebrity sign-on and said - "Historic presidents, psychotic sex-kittens... It's not enough! 2008 needs to finish BIG for us! We need a war - and we need both sides making their threats, demands and terms known through political statements of no more than 140 characters in length. Get me The Middle East!"

Sigh. So, listen - any Venture Capitalists or Angel Investors out there interested in backing a 2.0 internet start-up for peace in our time?

What's that you say? It would never catch on? Why?

Because web 2.0's all about user generated content.

Oh. Yeah.

Article Dan

NB - this blog is written neither as a statement of support nor condemnation of Israel's policies or actions in the Middle East.

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Filed under  //   Humour   Israel   Social media   Twitter   Video   War   YouTube  

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Twitter hires abstract idiot savant illustrator

Twitter's down.
 
I would say 'quelle suprise' with the huffy sarcasm required of any Englishman using a French phrase, but to be fair - it is a surprise. From it's woe-filled crash-tastic beginnings, Twitter has become a pretty stable application, very rarely falling to pieces the way it did in the past. (Twitter being so unstable it actually spawned sites dedicated to reporting its failure such as http://istwitterdown.com/ )
 
Also propelled into stardom was the illustrator Yiying Lu's simple and seemingly ubiquitous Fail Whale, breeding t-shirts, fan clubs and much twitter tattle about the obscurity of the choice of image.
 
05.gif
 
Some people debated the meaning of the Fail Whale. Hardly the Times fucking crossword, but apparently some felt there were unknown levels to the picture. (Wikipedia offers a strange reference to Beluga Whales as the canaries of the sea = canary in the coalmine? WTF?) It's a whale. He's a heavy bastard. The little birds are having a mare lifting him. Twitter's having a mare supporting the weight of traffic passing through it's site. Right you are. I'll go use Jaiku or Pownce to destroy the needy inner demons unleashed upon my soul by web 2.0.
 
But now, Twitter's down for database maintenence and we're offered this:

 
I mean, come on. What is that? So now Twitter's a caterpillar and we're all ice creams? It's not even a half-decent illustration, people. It's the work of an idiot savant (easy on the savant). And what does it tell me? That we're all complicated individuals fighting with ourselves? My soft, chilled ice cream Ying says 'Sure, Twitter. I understand. You're a caterpillar. Caterpillars will, from time to time, require necessary database maintenence - that's natural. Take your time. I love you'; but my dry, crunchy cone says 'Fuck you, Twitter. You're a badly rendered maggot. I came here to Tweet. Fuck you. Pull your shit together and make with the butterfly that is my 140 character micro-blog!"
Ahhhh - is it about waiting for the butterfly? Is that the meaning? Are we all sweet little treats melting away in the sun-drenched desert without the butterfly to shield us with its wings...?
Look! Look what this is doing to me! It's drawing me in... Not content to keep a vice-like grip on my conscious while it's up, Twitter has found a way to occupy and divert my soul while it's down!
Bastard! I've had enough, you hear me? Enou... Oh, look. Twitter's back. Laters! Gotta tweet!
Article Dan

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Filed under  //   Fail whale   Humour   Stupidity   Twitter  

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John McCain has just heard of the curve

US Presidential candidate John McCain has just joined Twitter. http://twitter.com/JohnMcCain Having joined on 19 September 08 he (I say 'he', I mean some advisor or sophmore rebublican runner) has posted a giddying total of five updates.
 
Is this quality over quantity? You tell me:
 
I Know, I know. It's the Times.: ABC News reports: House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., reportedly.. http://tinyurl.com/529f64 about 21 hours ago from twitterfeed
A Partisan Paper of Record: Today the New York Times launched its latest attack on this campaign in it.. http://tinyurl.com/47azyy 07:30 AM September 24, 2008 from twitterfeed
Biden: No Coal Plants Here in America: AUWAERTER: Senator, Senator, wind and solar are flouris.. http://tinyurl.com/4bh5pb 07:30 PM September 23, 2008 from twitterfeed
No Time for the Facts: Time magazine's Karen Tumulty accuses this campaign of racism for launching thi.. http://tinyurl.com/3j2cuf 05:00 PM September 19, 2008 from twitterfeed
 
McCain has (as of 27 Sept 08 11.19 GMT) 1,050 followers and follows 1,031. Among those he follows are Barack NObama (see what he did there?) and Fake Barrack Obama BUT he does not follow his actual competitor's Twitter stream. I mean you wouldn't want to know what your opponent was doing would you?
 
So - compare this to the competition: Mr Barack Obama. He has 80,000+ followers and follows more than 90,000 people. (Presumably before the 2K cap imposed by Twitter). He (again - 'he' - some clued-up stooge more likely) has posted 206 updates.
 
McCain has stated that he doesn't even use email so this is all of little surprise really.
 
But is this genius? McCain is so behind the curve he almosts reverses around the circle entirely and ends up back AHEAD of the curve again! I love it!
 
Article Dan

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Filed under  //   America   Election   John McCain   Obama   Twitter  

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Twitter's whale jumps the shark

So Twitter just announced that it has withdrawn its free SMS update service to UK users.
 
While this doesn't affect me so much (I never really exploited the sms service) it does render the whole damn show pretty useless. I have lost the love big-time. You can no longer see Twitter's coffin for all the damn nails. And here I present three of the real humdingers:

1) Twitter has fast been manifesting itself as little more than an IM service. Less and less do interesting thoughts arrive, rather non-sequitous @so-and-so replies and irrelevant quips. Wasn't this supposed to be micro-blogging?

2) Twitter has no archiving - after 10 pages - zip! That's it, your tweets and others are lost to posterity. I thought this was supposed to be micro-blogging? (yes, starring tweets saves them, but nobody told me - til I'd lost a load of info! - and even so: google saves everything, why can't twitter - it's only 140 characters, you mooks!)

3) The very USP of twitter was that it was based on the industry standard SMS 140 character limit. You remove the SMS from the equation - well, now we've just got machine-locked IM with limits.
Twitter = FAIL. Replace the fail whale with the fail shark it has just jumped.
 

What a shame.

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Filed under  //   Fail whale   Jump the shark   Twitter  

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Earthquake News (or, no news is good news...)

It would appear you can subscribe to the Twitterfeed of http://earthquake.usgs.gov/eqcenter/, kindly providing us all (well, all 158 of us following it at least) with up to the minute reports on earthquakes recorded across the world.

Now, already I can see myself regretting this little whimsy of subscription for a multitude of reasons, but my main two are:

1 - it keeps twittering me about the earthquakes apparently constantly happening all over the world - with such frequency as to bump my other tweeters off the screen before I've got around to reading them.

2 - IT KEEPS TWITTERING ME ABOUT EARTHQUAKES HAPPENING ALL OVER THE WORLD!!!

Seriously. The Earth is shaking like a leaf on a tree. It's freaking me out.

I'm going to bed. If there's more than five Earthquake updates in the morning I'm going to have to unsubscribe. There's some shit you just don't need know about.

Keep th' faith,
Article Dan

Created with Skitch from plasq - http://plasq.com

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Filed under  //   Earthquakes   Twitter  

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Doing the Twitterbug

Here's a new one on me. Not the Twitter Whale, but rather some surreal-ass symbols to denote that the thing is buggered. Note the test that states:
Something is technically wrong.
Thanks for noticing—we're going to fix it up and have things back to normal soon.
 
"Thanks for noticing"...??? Look, guys, I'm not here to fucking troubleshoot your service. I don't want thanks for discovering something's knacked on you're already legendaryily knacked site. I just want to send a goddamn tweet. 140 characters. Not a music file, not a heavier than god .tiff - 140 little characters of text. Get it done.
 
This said - I rarely see the whale and this is the first time I've seen this Dali-esque holding page, so maybe I should ease off.
 
Look I'm getting no sleep at the moment. I need to vent!

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Filed under  //   Art   Fail whale   surreal   Twitter  

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